My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
