So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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