My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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