Pappa wants mamma naked
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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