you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
