Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
