she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
