I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
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