I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
