i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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