best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
