Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
