i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
