Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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