from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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