i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
worst night to have a conscience
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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