She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
accomplished twins. life is a go
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
