Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
