Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
