Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
