If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
