I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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