How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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