No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
