I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
