Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
