So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
