Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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