It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
