Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
