Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
