the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
should my penis look like a turkey
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
