Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I could fuck to npr.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
