with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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