your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
So squirting runs in the family.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
