everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
