ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
