Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
