After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
