Got a toothbrush?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
