the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
