i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
