so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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