i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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