I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
