Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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