Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
