I didn't shave. On purpose
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
