There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
