Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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