GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
