All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
