A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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